John Mee – Some programmer in Sydney

I went car camping recently. In case you don’t know this is the kind of camping which doesn’t require you to carry stuff on your back; you just load up the car, drive, and set up camp next to the car somewhere nice.

I have a few pointers for myself, and maybe you, for the next time.

1. Leave the esky at home

   This is the most radical and may not be for you. After years of having an esky as an essential item, it’s official, I’m not going to bother with it anymore; I’ll just work around it. Why would I forgo the luxury of a tepid beer and a soggy steak? Well, these are the reasons why:

   • you need to drive into a town every second day to get ice
   • all your food goes soggy and gets disgustingly waterlogged due to soaking in a dubious liquid
   • draining the water out and reloading the ice is a chore
   • it takes up a lot of carspace
   • it constantly needs repositioning into the shade

   I suppose I could find solutions to these problems but frankly I’ve not found a suitable one and its really much easier to step away from the refrigerated section of the supermarket during the shopping. If an ice-less esky that is powered from the car steps in front of me, and they can convince me it won’t leave me in the middle of nowhere with a flat battery then I might take a chance but for now, no esky is the new policy.

2. Always take a saw

   Call me old school if you will but a camp isn’t complete without a fire. I never leave home without a tool to gather wood with. A box to put the wood in helps keep the car clean too. Campgrounds are aways devoid of any serviceable wood so when you think you’re nearly there stop under a big gum tree and spend 20-30 minutes cutting up wood of all the various diameters required and you’ve saved myself not only a lot of mucking about on arrival, but have the best wood for burning in nice neat fire size pieces. Pat yourself on the back for reducing your impact on the ecology around the campground but scold yourself for making such an outrageous contribution to world pollution, global warming, and using a ridiculously smelly and inefficient way to stay warm (in summer no less!). But gosh isn’t the fire hypnotic.

   Note it doesn’t have to be a “bush saw”, I’m using a $10 (wood) saw I picked up at the local hardware store. It’s been going strong for years. Runs rings around those stupid little tomahawks.

3. Take a big water container and a bucket

   You need water. Lots of it. Not only for drinking but for washing and dishes. You can get 15L, or more, containers of water at the supermarket, with a little tap on them and all. Perfect. The bucket is handy for keeping in camp always full of water. You can wash your hands before preparing food and drop the dishes in there after. At the end of the day it’s perfect for putting out the fire before bed. If there’s a water source nearby you can fill the bucket with that every morning and see that container of drinking water go a long way. It’s not only the comforts we’re looking for but maximizing the period without having to revisit civilisation. One day I’ll get one of those little hiking pumps for purifying water and I’ll be all set – dirty puddles provided.

4. Picnic Blanket

Forever I’ve had a blanket I take with me to lay down and create a clean surface no matter where I am. No shoes on the blanket! Even the best grass is not that nice to sit, lie, prepare food on. The blanket is a wonderful space to be at one with nature without actually having to lie down in the dirt. A table is nice but I’m not convince I want the intrusion of furniture.

5. Matches and a lighter

If you really want to feel like you’re doing it tough don’t bother with hot food and leave the stove/fire/matches/lighter to the wimps. Hey! We’re car camping. If you want to be tough leave the car at home. This is soft. We want hot food. Take a lighter for when the matches get wet and matches for when the lighter gives up the ghost. If the matches were Made in Turkey take many more boxes than you think you need.

6. A tarp

Yes, yes, old news, I have to confess the tarp is a recent discovery for me. I still question if this is an essential or a luxury, but lets not get bogged down in semantics. A tarp provides shade and shelter but to make it work you also need a couple of extra ropes and tent pegs to match; plus some straight sticks will do, or take some tent poles. Chuck this stuff in and you’ll use them. I’ve often taken the tarp, but it’s useless without guy ropes and pegs. Even if you don’t sit under it the engineering required to get it up and keep it up will ensure you never get bored in camp.

7. Bandaids, Savlon, Salt, tweezers

You might have the whole first-aid kit, but it will always run out of these things before anything else and then you think you’re covered, but you’re not. The band-aids are obvious. Savlon is a cream antiseptic, the salt is for removing leeches (stock up with the sachets from a fast food joint along the way), and the tweezers are for removing ticks (twisting ANTI-clockwise).

8. Knife and chopping board

Self-explanatory. I’m sure you wouldn’t forget.

9. flour, potatoes, and aluminium foil

I know – your damper is always burnt and harder than the river rocks. A hamburger sized damper only needs five minutes in the fire you fool! If you stick it in for 45 minutes of course it will be horrible. Don’t put it in the flames, put it on the coals, but you knew that. Put it in, give it a turn, and take it out quick. Easier to rewrap and throw it back in than start all over again. If you don’t have any butter (because you didn’t bring an esky) try olive oil. Same story for the spuds.